Utano: Illusions of a songstress
by thecrimsondagger
Summary: shunned from birth for a power she hadn't chosen, Utano had thought she would always be alone, but then she had found her beloved Fairy Tail, found family and acceptance beyond what she had ever dreamt of. But as darkness falls over the world, can she survive what fate has deemed her destiny? Can a love she never expected to find save her before it's too late? Rated M for later on.
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter one:**

' _Freak!'_

' _No one loves you!'_

' _demon!'_

The hateful words echoed through her mind as she stood within the doorway, the memories of those who should have loved her regardless of her failings piercing the tattered remains of her young heart as eyes fell upon her filled with curiosity for the little girl, her clothing torn and ruined from her journey, blisters on her feet from how far she had walked.

Makarov frowned from his seat at the bar, observing the child for a moment as an unsettling feeling washed over him as she turned her eyes to looked towards him for the briefest of moments before turning back to the floor again. She could not have been much older than eight, about the same age as both Natsu and Gray, and yet in her eyes lay a sadness that should not have belonged to one so young, a loneliness that had him moving forward before he could stop himself, noting how she shrank away, despite the fact that he stood at the same meagre height as her.

"Hello young one. Welcome to Fairy Tail. Are you lost?"

She merely shook her head, hands trembling with something other than the bitter cold of the winter breeze outside as they fidgeted. He took a step forward, seeing that she took a step back, seeming ready to bolt as his grandson come to stand beside him, arms folded and looking at the little girl with a slight frown.

"What's your name my dear?"

She remained silent, still refusing to raise her head to meet their gaze as the rest of the guild began to inch forward, Natsu and Gray both knocking each other out of the way to get a proper glimpse at the silent girl, Erza frowning with concern as Mira-Jane chose to remain at her table, scoffing and rolling her eyes at the brat in the doorway. What was so interesting about a mute anyway? Natsu and Gray felt a small blush creep up their cheeks at the sight of the girl, her hair a beautiful shade of vibrant purple and eyes like shimmering sapphires as they glimpsed up briefly with skin pale as moonlight.

"Can you speak?"

She nodded her head in confirmation of Erza's question, earning an annoyed grunt from Laxus as he took a menacing step forward, towering over the small girl as she began to tremble even more, her eyes fixed on the scowl he sent her way.

"What's your deal then brat?"

"Hey! Back off Laxus, she won't talk at all if you scare her"

Gray moved to stand in front of her as Natsu gave a feeble attempt at pushing the lightning mage away, only succeeding in making the older boy scoff and brush him aside, much to the displeasure of Makarov as the guild master simply chose to swat each over the back of the head for arguing. It really wasn't helping the situation.

She watched with a growing sense of confusion as a, barely dressed, raven haired boy moved to stand in front of her and a pink haired boy tried to push the bully away, her eyes focused completely on the older blond boy as he kept his eyes locked with hers. She didn't know how to feel. No one had ever tried to protect her like these two had, yet she found it was the bully that confused her more. He seemed magnetic as she tried to muster her courage to utter a simple sentence.

"My name is Utano"

Her hand moved quickly to clamp over her mouth as each of the wizards around her grasped their skulls and groaned, all eyes moving back to her as they seemed to click why she had chosen to be silent until that moment. Makarov could only describe it as disorientating, like he'd drunk a bar full of booze, the room seeming to alter and shift, swaying with the few words she spoke.

"What the hell brat!"

Mira's shout echoed around the building as Utano turned to make a run for it, tears in her eyes as it seemed that she had failed yet again to be accepted somewhere, only to be stopped by Natsu grabbed her arm and kept her in place, wincing slightly as he fought against his own nauseating dizziness as Makarov chose to speak.

"Don't be worried Utano, you're among friends here… You are gifted with magic that you cannot control, most likely you never will be able too"

She nodded her head sadly, tears dripping onto the floor as guilt filled Laxus suddenly at his previous behaviour. He'd mistaken her actions for rudeness, but she was merely trying to spare them the effects of her voice. Had she spent her entire life like this?

"Stay and we'll do our best to help you"

She watched as Makarov extended a hand out towards her, blinking rapidly in confusion as she tried to process whether she could truly trust him. Why was he still being kind to her after the discomfort her curse had caused? Why did any of them want her to stay when everyone else had shunned her from birth?

"You are not cursed, Utano, merely different and this guild thrives on those who are different. You have a home here if you want to accept it, and nakama that will stand by you from now on"

His words were the kindest she had ever known, not realising that those words alone would change her life forever as a smile crept up her lips, watching with joy dancing in her eyes as both Natsu and Gray summoned their own magic to prove the point that she wasn't alone anymore, eyes widening in shock as a huff broke from Mira before she began to alter her form to take on the visage of a demon and Erza summoned more weapons than Utano had ever seen.

"See my dear, we're all a little different here. You'll fit in just fine"

She let him lead her away towards the bar then, a smile still on her face as the Fairy Tail insignia was placed above her heart and she was welcomed into her new life, her thoughts now brighter than they had ever been in her young life.


	2. Chapter 2

The events of a single year could truly change a person. With each passing day, Utano's frightened and lonely gaze began to come alive, glistening and truly making her eyes look even more like precious sapphires upon her face, her constant frown slowly becoming a smile as she watched the others around her from the table she shared with Mira and her siblings in the guild, listening as they chatted amongst themselves and occasionally attempted conversation with her, keeping it to simple yes or no questions.

And it wasn't just her features that had begun to change. As she began to take on small jobs for the guild, earning money of her own, her dress sense had begun to fit more with who she was, with the person her voice could not portray. Throwing away the rags that she had worn, Mira had taken her under her wing and let her borrow some of her old clothes while she slowly began to build her own wardrobe collection. She found that she liked the tank tops, short skirts and tight jeans that Mira favoured, so that was what she chose to wear. It may have seemed like a strange common ground, but it was enough to start her friendship with the takeover mage despite Mira's initial hostile greeting.

She felt at peace, even when Gray and Natsu would begin arguing or fighting, eventually causing a brawl within the guild. She never joined in, although she would have liked to at least once. For the first time since she could remember, she felt at home. She may not have been able to put it into words, not wishing to cause the same discomfort as she had on her first day, but she was truly grateful to the guild for accepting her, flaws and all, so readily.

However, if there was one thing that Utano could really feel doubtful of or remotely uncomfortable with, it was Laxus Dreyar. The guilds resident S-rank lightning mage.

It wasn't that the older boy was unkind or rude to her, he didn't speak to her at all, although he had voiced his surprise quite clearly with a loud **_'You're shitting me'_** when it had been discovered that Utano was actually only two years younger than him, making her three years older than Natsu and Gray, proving that she was just quite short for her age and Makarov knew nothing about judging anyone's age. But something felt unsettling about the blond boy, she often caught him looking towards her with a perplexed look in his eyes before scowling and turning back to him group, commonly known as the Thunder Legion, and muttering something towards his green haired friend, Freed Justine. She tried not to let it both her but she couldn't help it. What were they talking about? Was it bad? She wouldn't have been surprised. She may have found peace but that didn't mean that fate didn't want to ruin it for her.

Today just happened to be one of those days that Laxus was doing just that.

Keeping her eyes fixed on the request board, Utano could all but feel the eyes burning into her back as she tried to ignore the boy and choose her next job. There weren't really any that she could go for, none that didn't require her to interact with others. A shame, the rent was due in the coming week. Sighing, she made to go back to her table, a little upset that Mira wasn't there and neither were either of her siblings, Elfmann and Lisanna.

"No way snowflake! Utano would speak to me first if she could!"

"Yeah right flame brain! Like she'd waste her breath on you!"

Not again. Frowning, Utano turned her full attention to the fire dragon slayer and the ice mage, watching as they continued to bicker between themselves. It was always the same argument, other than who was the stronger one between them: Who would she speak too first. She cared deeply for the pair and wanted to be able to talk and laugh with them openly, but their childish crushes were not something she returned, her feelings were more akin to siblings.

"Those two really are knuckleheads"

She nearly jumped out of her skin, turning with wide eyes to look up at Laxus as he looked towards the two younger boys for a moment before turning to look down at her. Though his expression appeared blank, Laxus found it took all his willpower not to smile at the petite girl, at how she began to fidget with the tips of her hair in a clear sign of nerves at his sudden interaction with her. He still couldn't believe that she was twelve years old.

He'd been gathering information on her for months, reading through her mission reports to try and figure out what exactly her magic was, not surprised to find that she specialised in illusion magic, watching her every day to try and garner something about the girl behind the silent mask. She was fascinating to him, he wanted to know the extent that her magic could reach if brought under control, he wanted to know her better and hear the sound of her voice without fear.

And that was what had turned him to Freed for help. The rune mage would surely be able to do something with his runes to help Utano, an enchanted item of some sort or a spell?

Having been told all the details, Freed was more than willing to help his leader, wanting to hear Utano speak almost as much as Laxus himself. How could he turn such a request down? And so he had set to work, researching his runes and testing different combinations to find the perfect match, something that would reign her magic in but not fully block it, so that she could speak but still use her magic when she desired.

It had taken him little over a month before he finally returned to Laxus with the finished product, the lightning mage smiling and thanking him as he took the item and planned how he would give it to her.

And that was what had brought him over to her now, her wide eyes looking at him with confusion as he reached into his jacket pocket and retrieved a small box from within, passing it to her as he explained what it was, trying to appear as if he hadn't done it out of kindness or mere affection, that it was simply done for the benefit of the guild.

"It's a necklace. Freed's enchanted it with a rune spell that will focus your magic and allow you to speak to everyone but not completely block your magic. He said that the runes will react to your singing and will channel the magical energy accordingly. If you're going to work in this guild then you need to have some control over your magic without it being a constant headache, there's no benefit for the guild if you can't even talk to anyone"

Opening the box as he spoke, Utano couldn't help but smile warmly at the necklace within, a treble clef symbol pendant hanging from a simple silver chain. He may have said that it was merely for the benefit of the guild, but Utano could tell that it was a little deeper than that. Why would he have gone to trouble of purchasing something so pretty or personal if that was all it was? Laxus appeared to be looking off to the side, pretending not to care as she placed the necklace around the column of her throat, observing from the corner of his eye as she fixed the clasp and adjusted the pendant to sit perfectly upon her chest before looking up at him once more.

"Well, are you going to speak or not? We won't know if it works unless you do"

His words were brash but Utano knew that he meant well as she looked back towards Natsu and Gray, both seeming too caught up in their little fight over her to realise the dilemma she was faced with. Should she tell them to stop fighting? That their behaviour was unnecessary when faced with the fact that she didn't feel the same way? She sighed at the thought, her first words should be so cruel. And besides, there was someone she needed to speak with more than anything.

Laxus felt his heart stop for a moment, convinced that she was going to turn her back on him, that she would use her new found freedom to speak with the two knuckleheads that were still arguing about her. He didn't want that, he wanted to be the first one she spoke too. But it was her decision he realised, he hadn't spent any time with her until this moment so what right did he have to such a privilege now. But then she turned to him once more, looked him straight in the eye and smiled brighter than he had ever seen, his eyes transfixed as her lips began to move and her voice flowed free, no side effects to be found as the guild went silent and all turned to listen to her.

"Thank you, Laxus… Words can't express how grateful I am"

She waited for a moment, expecting for the runes to fail and for everyone around her to begin clutching their heads in pain or discomfort, but it never happened. All eyes were on her as she felt an overwhelming sense of happiness take hold and she launched herself at Laxus, hugging the startled lightning mage before turning back to the request board and pulling a job down, a light in her eyes as she made to run for the door.

"No point standing around! Rent to pay and a voice to test drive"

She was gone before anyone could get a word in, her voice echoing in the streets outside as she said good morning to everyone she passed. Laxus couldn't help but shake his head with a slight chuckle, a feeling of pride knowing that her first true words had been for him, knowing that it had been his actions that had allowed her the freedom she now enjoyed. But something told him, deep in his heart that he had opened the flood gates for something much more.

Making his way back to his table, ignoring the complaints of both Natsu and Gray about having not been the first to hear her words, he found he couldn't get the purple haired girl from his mind. Her voice like music to his ears and with the face of an angel, Laxus wasn't quite ready to admit to himself yet that the illusionist had stolen her way, unknowingly, into his heart.

* * *

 **Hey guys, hope you enjoyed the recent update. Just wanted to let you know that the first chapters, up until chapter four will only be segments of Utano's past up until the modern day when Lucy Heartfillia joins the guild and the story of Utano really begins.**

 **Chapter three will be based around the S-rank trials when Utano is sixteen and how she became S-rank level. Hope you all continue to enjoy the story and let me know what you all think :)**

 **Many thanks,**

 **Crimsondagger xx**


	3. Chapter 3

Blessed be puberty. That was all Laxus would ever say if anyone ever asked for his opinion on Utano. He'd never tell them how he loved to watch how her beautiful purple hair, now the full length of her back, swayed in the breeze, or how it always seemed like she was dancing with each step she took.

She'd blossomed in his eyes. No longer the shy, flat chested girl that barely reached 5ft 2 inches in height, she now stood at a decent 5ft 7 inches after a final growth spurt when she had been fifteen, her bosom now a rival for even Mira-jane and her hips perfectly rounded. At seventeen she'd become a goddess in his eyes.

The only downside? She spent a lot of time with both Natsu and Gray, the pair having set aside their pointless crushes in favour of a more sibling like relationship. She'd become just as bad as they were for starting brawls, although she used only her fists rather than magic, and on a number of occasions had been the one to trash the guild hall in the midst of the excitement.

And, for that fact alone, Laxus had become convinced that, despite the hype her magic had once caused within the guild, she could not have really been that powerful after all, illusionary or not. Just another pretty little knucklehead, all talk and no action. After all: What kind of mage used her fists instead of her magic?

* * *

Laxus scowled as he took his usual seat within the guild, watching as the rest seemed in full hype. Everyone was gathered, eager to hear the final verdict on who would be taking the S-rank trials this year as Makarov stood before them all.

"You have all worked so hard. Completing jobs and bringing honour to not only your guild but to your nakama also!"

Laxus scoffed as he heard the cheers of the guild and ignored the slightly disapproving glances of his thunder legion. He couldn't have cared less about any of this, but he listened anyway, knowing that he would be required, as an S-ranked mage, to participate in the trials. Moving to the railing, he chose to simply observe the members below as names were called out and cheers of congratulations followed each one. Each one that was called only made him groan in distaste, how the hell could any of this rabble be classed as S-rank? Those were his thoughts at least, until he heard one name that had him more interested.

"Utano Hoshigumo"

His eyes searched for the unmistakeable head of purple hair amongst the cheering crowd, only to find that she was not there and that he was one of the few that had noticed this fact. He scowled, where the hell was she?

"You'll probably find her at magnolia square… I hear she goes there quite often in her free time"

Freed's voice startled him slightly as he turned to the rune mage, a scowl painted across his lips as he stormed away from his group and out of the guild doors, ignoring the disapproving stares of his fellow guild members in favour of reaching his target. How knuckleheaded could that girl be? Hell, even Natsu had turned up on time for the S-rank nominations.

"Seriously, she'd better have a damned good excuse for blowing the guild off like this after all we've done for that airhead"

His mutterings followed him as he entered Magnolia square and locked eyes on a fountain of purple hair dangling from the tree in the centre, his eye twitching at the sight of his target simply resting on one of the lower branches, a photograph in her hand as her eyes seemed unwilling to move from the woman caught within.

"Hey! Knucklehead, get your damn ass back to the guild before I kick it there!"

Her head rolled lazily to the side as she chose to simply stare at him, a strangely vacant expression within her eyes that unsettled him slightly as she refused to speak and Laxus found his blood beginning to boil further. The hell was her problem?!

"Did you hear me! Your name was called for the S-ranked trials so you better start preparing and hope you don't come up against me"

His fists were clenching as she stood slowly upon the branch and leaped gracefully to stand beside him. Even with that empty gaze within her eyes, he found his heart quicken at how close she stood to him, so close that he swore he could smell the strawberry shampoo upon her hair.

The moment was short lived however as she simply placed the photograph within her jacket pocket before walking away, her words lingering behind her

"I'll be there, don't worry…. But today is special. I just want to be alone"

He was left where he stood, confused as he tried to think what could have been so special about today. It wasn't the anniversary of her joining the guild, that was in a few weeks if Mira-Jane's frantic planning was anything to go by and the demon woman's crazy muttering. So, what then? A birthday? Or maybe something to do with the photograph he had seen in her hand.

Groaning in frustration, he decided just to head back toward the guild. Maybe Mira would know.

* * *

The anticipation was high within his mind as he stood within the clearing, waiting for one of the trial candidates to make themselves known, waiting for his chance to kick one of their useless asses and not be chewed out for it by his grandpa.

A grin began to stretch across his lips. The poor bastard wouldn't stand a chance. Even if they weren't bloodied up from battling to this point and exhausted from the trial so far, they'd be no match for him. Not a hope in hell.

"You shouldn't smile like that… It's creepy"

Her voice drifted through the trees and to his ears, nothing like the other day when it had been desolate of everything he knew her to be. It was mischievous again, teasing him as he searched around and found her coming out from one of the trees behind him, hair tied up in a cute messy bun, bikini and mini shorts nearly giving him a heart attack as he turned fully and registered the strangest thing about her.

Not a single scratch on her. Not even a bruise.

"The hell knucklehead! Why aren't you looking all beaten up or even tired out? You look like you're out for a stroll"

There was a chill in the breeze that hit him as her smile dropped only slightly and she took a single step closer.

"I'm an illusionist… I can do enough damage without getting myself dirty"

"So you took the cowards way out and trapped your opponents in some screwy little illusion… You really are a useless wizard"

The next moments were fast as, in a blink of his eye, she was gone from her spot and then stood clean in front of him, her chest almost pushed up against his own as she placed hand against his shoulder as she leaned in to whisper into his ear, not seeing the deepening blush upon his cheeks.

"Wrong… I faced them all fair and square. They just didn't realise that I can tap into their deepest fears and make them seem SO real. Are you ready Laxus? I've saved the best for you. You get to see my own personal hell"

Again, she was gone and stood once more on the other end of the clearing, her hand clutching the pendant he had given to her five years ago as she opened her mouth and lyrics began to flow off her tongue, the world around him shifting and altering as he felt his own body seem to change with his surroundings. He felt confusion, was this her power? He'd never actually seen it in action himself, though his grandpa had warned him about it before.

 ** _"_** ** _Tried to keep you close to me  
But life got in between  
Tried to square not being there  
But think that I should have been"_**

 ** _Hold back the river, let me look in your eyes  
Hold back the river, so I  
Can stop for a minute and see where you hide  
Hold back the river, hold back"_**

In the distance, a woman could be seen running up to him, her lips set in a breath-taking smile as she took him into her arms, his mind realising that he was caught within the memories of Utano, seeing the past through her eyes as blissful joy took her heart in a giddy grip, laughter flowing from her as the woman whispered softly, no sound leaving her lips amidst the song that still invaded his own hearing, but he seemed to know what she had said.

"Mama loves you Utano. Mama's little song bird"

The song continued as the surrounding began to change once more and Laxus found himself running towards a house, the hot sting of tears in the eyes of Utano as he felt her pain at the cut upon her knee.

 ** _"_** ** _Once upon a different life  
We rode our bikes into the sky  
But now we call against the tide  
Those distant days are flashing by_**

 ** _Hold back the river, let me look in your eyes  
Hold back the river, so I  
Can stop for a minute and be by your side  
Hold back the river, hold back"_**

He watched again through young Utano's eyes as her mother wiped away her tears and soothed her precious child's pain, singing a soft lullaby to calm the crying child, watching as a small amount of healing magic passed through the woman's song and healed the cut. In that moment, Laxus could truly feel the love that both mother and daughter felt for each other.

He found he didn't want to leave that moment as, yet again, the world began to shift. But this time felt different as something terrible clutched his heart.

 ** _"_** ** _Hold back the river, let me look in your eyes  
Hold back the river, so I  
Can stop for a minute and see where you hide  
Hold back the river, hold back_**

 ** _Hold oho, oho  
Oho, oho_**

 ** _Lonely water, lonely water, won't you let us wander  
Let us hold each other  
Lonely water, lonely water, won't you let us wander  
Let us hold each other"_**

Fear. Never ending fear as little Utano was held within her mother's arms, running through the forest surrounding their home as their fled for their lives. He could hear the running footfall of the attackers behind them. So many, but why?

In that moment, Utano looked up into the eyes of her mother, Laxus seeing the realisation within those saddened orbs as she dashed into the bushes and placed her child down. She knew she could not save them both, that if she continued to run with Utano in her arms that she would tire and they would both be caught. Again, her lips spoke but no words could be heard over the song that now seemed filled with so much fear, pain and sadness. Yet, she knew what she had said, the agony that those words forced into his heart enough to have him falling to his knees.

"Run, my little song bird, find fairytale and survive… Mama will always love you"

Utano tried to scream but, with a single wave of her mother's hand, found her voice silenced as her only family moved back into the opening and was captured and dragged away. Utano followed the cloak wearing attackers, watched from the bushes as they entered a clearing with an alter in the centre, so many others gathering around as she was thrown upon it.

Laxus didn't need to see the rest to know what had happened to the woman as the world began to shift once more and an emptiness filled his heart, a loneliness like he had never known.

 ** _"_** ** _Hold back the river, let me look in your eyes  
Hold back the river, so I  
Can stop for a minute and be by your side  
Hold back the river, hold back_**

 ** _Hold back the river, let me look in your eyes  
Hold back the river, so I  
Can stop for a minute and be by your side  
Hold back the river, hold"_**

Hunger gripped her tiny stomach as she staggered through the town, her eyes drooped with fatigue and exhaustion but too frightened to sleep as she desperately forced her legs to keep moving, the eyes of the villagers upon her as a gentle looking man made his way up to her.

"Are you ok little girl?"

Her pleas for food and help were met with the villagers clutching their heads in pain, screaming as she watched on in confusion. Why was her voice hurting them? Her mama had never screamed like this, never seemed to be in agony.

"Freak!"

"Demon!"

She found the last of her strength to run as the villagers chased her out, their children throwing rocks at her that left deep bruises and cuts upon her skin that bled into the tattered remains of the once pretty dress she had worn on the terrible day.

She never looked back as each village and town reacted the same way to her, stealing food where she could to survive as she continued to reach where her mother had told her to go. She would not let anything stop her from granting her mother's final wish of her. The loneliness, the sadness and the pain only growing stronger within her heart as it became clear.

Who could ever love a freak?

 ** _Lonely water, lonely water, won't you let us wander  
Let us hold each other  
Lonely water, lonely water, won't you let us wander  
Let us hold each other_**

As the song came to an end, the world returned to the familiar setting of Tenrou Island, Laxus found himself clutching one hand against his chest, the other supporting him against the ground as he felt a cold sweat seeping down his neck and back, the fear that he had felt within the heart and mind of young Utano nothing like he had ever known before. It had been all consuming, crippling as he tried to force it down and failed.

"Don't accuse me of taking the cowards way out. Don't pretend that you know anything about me just because we're in the same guild… What you're feeling right now Isn't close to how I felt that day. But it's enough to bring YOU to your knees in defeat"

She turned her back on him then, knowing he couldn't stop her moving on through the trials now as she headed towards the final part of the challenge, both knowing that, the next time they saw each other, she would be the newest S-rank wizard in their guild.

"You think you're so great, so much better than everyone else. But if you want to slander my strength or my courage, learn what it truly means to lose everything you love, to be alone, hungry and frightened with only a promise to keep you going. Learn what true determination and courage is instead of thinking you already know"


End file.
